So last night we arrived back home. Arrived 9:30 pm. Our Niece picked us up from the airport. Getting out of the airport car park was actually more arduous then flying here. You see every one tries to get a parking spot as close to the terminal as possible. This need is brought about by the fact that the locals don’t like walking. There were cars everywhere, double and triple parked. We then went down two levels only to find that level virtually deserted. Amazing.

Then there was of course a lovely jaunt along the expressway, which was almost the same as being stuck in the car park. One hour later we arrived at our destination. So what to do now? Eat of course. Then off to bed.

The latter being nothing like what is in store for us tonight. Our Niece lives in a lovely middle class enclave with all the mod cons us westerners have come to expect in life. Soft bed, proper toilet and bathroom with shower and air-conditioning. Sensational. However, it only serves to highlight the distinct difference we’ll be faced with tonight in Khon Kaen.

Hmmmm…..

So there you have it. It’s been decided. We’re off once again. The land of the great green rice field. Also known as 181 Barn Nong Pai, Moo Sarm, Tom Boon Nong Soon, Ampur Yangtalaat, Jungwat Kalasin. Try rattling that off to your taxi driver.

This trip will be different as we’ll be catching up with my brother in law from Finland. I haven’t seen Kari for about three years now and it will be good to catch up. He once told me that Finland only had a population of about six and a half million people. I asked if he knew why. Kari indicated he didn’t know why. My response took him somewhat by surprise. I said, “because it’s bloody cold”. I think I used somewhat stronger language at the time. He took it surprisingly well. Someone’s got to pay the tax right?

Quick trip this time. Only eleven days. I’m not going to give those mosquitos a chance to know I’m even there. I’m also taking Aeroguard. Elephant strength. The stuff they have over in Thailand is sold to tourists to attract the mosquitos to you, that way keeping them off the locals. Seems like a fair deal, for the locals!

Anyway, not to put too much emphasis on the environment, I actually have come to love it over there. My loving wife has already packed some nick-nacks to bring along. The container company will be by next week to pick them up. You think I’m joking don’t you? To accommodate her baggage requirements I will be posting my stuff by airmail ahead of time. What a guy.

To help acclimate to the local surroundings I’ve already taken to sleeping on our tiled floor and playing barnyard noises in the background whilst trying to do so. The next door neighbor must be wondering what the hell is going on next door.

Will keep you posted on the whole pre flight packing, it will be interesting…….

09/01/2011 The market.

Not to put a too finer point to it, I loath shopping at the best of times. Shlepping through a fully air-conditioned shopping centre is not my idea of fun. So imagine how much overcome with joy I was when we ended up in a market in Chiang Yun. The latter being about 25km back to Khon Kaen.

Hot and noisy is all you can basically say. All the different vendors appear to have sourced their wares from the same suppliers. T shirts, jeans shoes and thongs, torches calculators etc. Once you’ve seen a quarter of the market it all starts looking the same. So my anti shopping logic kicks in and asks, “why continue punishing yourself like this?” I’m answered with a, “only five minutes more”.

Five minutes in Thailand can be very flexible and can be interchanged with the word soon. The latter being used for anything from five minutes to twelve hours. Cleverly designed not to disappoint. “When is the bus coming?” “Soon” don’t be surprised if it doesn’t turn up for at least an hour. By using the word soon no one can be held responsible. Very clever.

Anyway, we emerged from the market forty five minutes after I asked if we were finished. There was one very compelling stall however and if nothing else, demonstrated by how much we get ripped off by the two dollar shops. Everything from bottle openers to dish racks and plastic bowls and plates. All for only 10bt each.

No more shopping for me on this trip…..

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08/01/2011 Kitchen renovation.

When I say that living in a Village like Nong Pai is basic you’re probably thinking, “what, you can’t get by without a big screen TV for two weeks?” Basic only begins to describe the lack of what we come to regard as not creature comforts but just as normal living necessities. You only start to appreciate how much we take for granted until you come to a place like Nong Pai.

Take the kitchen for instance. When I say kitchen I mean the area out the back of the house adjacent to the laundry/bathroom/toilet. It’s a sizable area with an area set aside for cooking. Cooking takes place using two concrete lined buckets that are normally fueled with charcoal. These buckets are elevated off the floor using a plank on two blocks of wood.

Preparation of food is straight forward. Ingredients are chopped up on chopping logs on the floor. The mortar and pestle also feature a lot in food preparation and is also used on the floor. There is a basic aluminium storage cabinet and that’s it. There is a fridge as well and that’s in the house proper. I must state at this point that though the facilities are lacking that this in no way impacts on the quality of food they turn out. Everything is just like what you’d pay for in a restaurant. (BBQ’d rat aside of course)

Now given that I work in the kitchen renovation industry it was only natural that I put my talents to good use and come up with some compelling improvements for this somewhat lacking kitchen. No kitchen design software, no CNC machinery, what was a guy to do?

Having discussed the basic requirements with Nuch I contracted Mang as my local procurement manager. I drew up the basics of what I was intending to achieve and the tools that would be required to complete the job. After that there was a lot of Isan banter and finally after 30 minutes we were off.

Mang and his wife live two doors up from us so it wasn’t far to go. Mang disappeared for what seemed to be longer than what I thought would be required if one knew confidently where everything was. Not to disappoint he soon came out with the necessary tools and had also managed to find some basic materials. Mang as it turns out, is a bit of a hoarder and in this case it had paid off.

Now, having come from an industry that thrives on mass production and simplifying tasks it was somewhat interesting to see Mang go about the tasks at hand. Drill a hole, swap to screwdriver bit, screw the screw into the hole, swap back to drill bit etc etc. There had to be a better way. With that I gestured to him to give me a go. Let’s drill all the holes first then screw all of the screws. The penny dropped.

We were soon working together as one well oiled machine. Sensational. All we had to do now is cut up some board and using safety gear, Thai work boots and nothing else, we did so.

With the job complete all that was left to do was the installation. That was straight forward and afterwards we sat back with a beer and admired our technological marvel. What had we constructed you may well ask?

A table 🙂 Now all that’s left to do is teach everyone how to use it 🙂

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07/01/2011 Bird hunt.

This day started really well I’d slept well without interruption and was looking forward to bacon & eggs with coffee with real milk and orange juice…… And then the roosters started. Time to wake up. I mean get up.

The day was pretty much uneventful as can happen here. Everyone goes off to work and Nuch’s sister normally falls asleep looking after her daughters little boy.

It had been decided that the evening meal would consist of mookata. Mookata for those who don’t know, involves putting an aluminum dome with slots in it on top of a concrete lined bucket. (the bucket is filled with glowing charcoal) The dome has a little gutter around it. So you put slices of meat and other bits on the dome and noodles and soup stock in the gutter part. Then with the mandatory acoutraments like chile and the like you’re ready to spend the next hour eating. Depending on the soup stock you use the soup can be sensational.

Before we settled down for dinner however and with the sun about to set I was met with yet again an indication of local Isan ingenuity. Brought about by the sun going down and the birds finding there local sleeping spot my brother in law Mang showed up with an air rifle. Now when I say air rifle you’re probably thinking a well engineered rifle not unlike you’ve used or seen at a circus duck shoot or the like. Nothing of the sort.

This particular contraption with the only thing giving you an idea that it was a gun being the long barrel, was somewhat unique. An air chamber linked to a breach provided the means for firing a 4mm diameter lead ball. How do you charge the gun? Well that’s easy, with a bicycle pump of course. Yep, hanging off the bottom of the barrel and mounted in front of the stock was an every day garden variety bicycle pump. Sensational.

Now what do you hunt with an air rifle? Well, birds of course and I must stress that everything is fair game around here and the hunting is not just for sport. Well almost, Mang would like nothing more than to stock the local canal with crocs I think. In fact he’s like the Thai version of the Ausy character Mick Dundee.

Now I know why I only hear chickens in the morning 🙂

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